Anger is a natural emotion, but if it builds up too often, it can affect your health and relationships. Dealing with anger in healthy ways will help you stay in control. For those on the NDIS Gold Coast, learning to handle emotions is part of everyday wellbeing. With the right tools, you can turn frustration into calm before anger takes over.
What causes anger?
Anger can happen for many reasons, both from inside and out.
Sometimes, it comes from within us like when our expectations aren’t met, we feel insecure or we’re holding onto past hurts. Feeling angry often connects to the way we think and feel about ourselves and what’s happening around us.
Other times, it’s triggered by the outside world. Maybe it’s a traffic jam, someone treating us unfairly or running into things we can’t control. It’s our mind’s way of reacting when something feels off, unfair or like we’re being pushed too far.
Recognizing the signs of your anger
The first important step when dealing with anger is learning to recognize when you start feeling angry. When you can practice this well, it becomes one of the most effective anger control techniques. Here are some common signals:
Physical signs
Fast or pounding heartbeat
- Clenched fists or tight jaw
- Tense shoulders or neck
- Feeling hot or flushed
- Headaches or a churning stomach
Example: You’re stuck in traffic and notice your hands gripping the steering wheel hard. Yes, anger’s building up.
Emotional signs
- Feel annoyed or upset easily
- Hold onto things that made you angry before
- Feel tense, jumpy or restless
Example: After a bad meeting, you’re still upset and snap at someone who did nothing wrong.
Behavioral signs
- Raise your voice or say things sharply
- Get mad quickly, even over small stuff
- Go quiet or stop talking
- Slam things or throw stuff
Example: Someone cuts in line and you feel like yelling right away.
Helpful tips for dealing with anger
When you’re feeling angry, it can come on fast and feel hard to control. But the truth is, you can learn how to manage anger gently, step by step.
Pause and give yourself space
Before reacting, pause. Count to 10. Take a few deep breaths in through your nose, out through your mouth, slower out than in. If possible, step away from the situation, even just for a moment. Go to another room, step outside or take a short walk. This space helps your brain cool down so you can respond, not react.
Try ways to calm down anger quickly
Everyone’s different so find what works for you in these ways to calm down anger quickly.
- Stretch or shake your arms out
- Play music, go for a jog or dance
- Tear paper, punch a pillow or scribble in a notebook
- Write or record your feelings, then delete or toss them later
They’re helpful in the moment, but not meant for every time. It’s still important to work on long-term ways to manage anger.
Try to change the thoughts that feed your anger
Angry thoughts often sound like “this is unfair!” or “they always do this!” Try to soften those words. Replace extreme words like “always” or “never” with more balanced language. Remind yourself, “I’m feeling angry, but I can manage this.” Shifting the way you speak to yourself can reduce the emotional intensity and help you stay in control.
Ask what’s really going on
Sometimes, anger is just the surface, underneath, there might be fear, pain or a sense of being misunderstood. Take a moment to ask yourself: What am I really feeling right now? This gentle self-check can shift how you respond and help you handle the situation with more clarity.
- Use humor to release tension
One way to learn how to manage anger is to lighten the mood with a bit of humor. Not sarcasm, but silly thoughts that help you step back like imagining your anger as a grumpy cartoon character. It won’t fix everything but a little laugh can ease the tension and help you think more clearly.
Talk to someone you trust
Sometimes, simply saying out loud: “I’m really angry and I don’t know why” can bring surprising relief. Whether it’s to a friend, a partner or a counselor, remember you don’t have to work through it all on your own.
Dealing with anger is part of being human, but it doesn’t have to leave you feeling frustrated and drained. With simple anger control techniques, you can learn to pause, breathe and respond more calmly even in tough moments. At Lotus, we organize group activities to help you find calm and express your emotions gently, making it easier to manage anger!
